


Trust me, I'm a snake!

by Triangle_Man



Category: Rockman | Mega Man - All Media Types, Rockman | Mega Man Classic
Genre: Canon Rewrite, Eventual Relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:28:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23267731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Triangle_Man/pseuds/Triangle_Man
Summary: Snakeman attempts to tell the real story of Megaman, with a little bit of his own adventures sprinkled in. You can decide if he's telling the truth or not. He is a snake, after all.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	1. The Beginning

Hello, naive and unsuspecting humans. Snakeman here. Are you ready to have your day ruined? That's one of my specialties. I know you’ve probably heard Rock’s story dozens of times. You know, the old ‘Blue Bomber Saves the Day Again from the Dastardly Deeds of the Evil Dr. Wily’. Those exact words were on the titles of at least five different newspapers after the last war. Disgusting.

Anyway, if you’ve heard those before, you would assume that they are all true, right? Well have I got news for you. Be prepared to forget everything you thought you knew about it. I’ve got the inside scoop (from both sides!) so you, the public, can finally know the truth. I can’t blame you for believing the lies shared by the games. Those are quality entertainment, I tell you. Try the third one, it’s the best by a long shot. Of course, they are all completely wrong. And sometimes stupid.

Ahem. Alright, where to start? The beginning? Well, as much as I’d love to start there, I would be a hypocrite to tell you it didn’t play out exactly like the first game. That one was spot-on. As a rundown, Dr. Light builds six complete robots (Cutman, Gutsman, Iceman, Fireman, Bombman, and Elecman), and Dr. Wily steals them from Light to try to conquer the world. To be fair, Wily was the one who discovered the perfect way to construct an autonomous, conscious robot. Light, being a bad friend, “borrowed” these plans to make a profit. That’s not something the game tells you. Light is no saint, to say the least.

Rockman, the tragically generic hero, goes to defeat those six captured robots with the help of the inventions of his sister, Roll. Yes, Roll did in fact create items 1-3, which would later become Rush the robot dog. Fascinating, the things they lie about in the games. Roll is a genius, one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. But of course, they couldn’t do something so absurd as to promote women in science. They did Roll dirty and made her a housekeeping robot and gave Light credit for her accomplishments. I’m still miffed about it.

Anyway, where was I? Rock defeated the OG robot masters, captured Wily to be put in jail for a few years, and that was that. End of story? Not a chance. Here’s where it starts to get a little different.


	2. The BEGINNING beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snake explores Protoman's origin story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing this with snake's POV because of Snake Man day (March 22), and also because his character and personality seem fun to explore! MM3 is my favorite in the series, mostly because of the music, but also because of the weird(er) robot masters like Snake Man or Top Man.

The public was weary about robots after the whole Wily situation, but Light, being a charismatic d-bag, was able to convince almost everyone that robots aren’t good or bad, it just depends on what the human in charge tells them to do. Of course, it wouldn’t be that way if we weren’t all programmed with Asimov’s laws. Well, most of us were programmed that way (I’m getting ahead of myself, that comes later).

Light managed to finish a few more robots in the time it took for Wily to complete his prison sentence. The total number of existing Lightbots came up to 15, I think? Rock and Roll, of course, the original six robot masters, the new masters (Timeman, Oilman, Splashwoman, Pumpman, Galaxyman, and Commandoman) and of course, the ever-elusive Protoman.

\---

Rewind! This part happens before the beginning. Part 0. The prologue.

Protoman is a special case. He was created by Light and Wily before any of the other robots, with the specific purpose of being used as a military weapon by the government. Of course, neither doctor wanted that to happen, so they (just Wily) created protocols within the kid that made him his own person, with a unique personality. They taught him about the world and the things that make it wonderful, but neither told him of his future fate. 

When he was presented to the government council, their scientists approved of every almost every aspect of the prototype, except for his core (cores are basically the mechanical hearts of robots, our life source); Protoman had a solar-mechanized core, one that was very environmentally-friendly, but not-so-wallet-friendly to build. The government demanded that they install a cheaper, more easily-replaceable core to make the mass production of these robots smoother and to lessen the impact of a single robot.

Again, neither doctor wanted to comply, but the money was necessary to keep them alive and working. They approached Protoman, who at this point was still getting over the shock of discovering that he had to be a soldier for the rest of his life, and asked if they could complete the procedure. Protoman refused, not wanting to lose the life or personality he had spent so much time developing.

That was when Light, in a stroke of evil genius, demanded that they MUST change his core, for the other one was built with a major flaw that could kill him at any time. This was, of course, one of Light’s infamous lies. It surely had to convince Protoman to go forth with the procedure, right? Wrong. Protoman, anguished by the news, stormed out of the lab and ran away into the night after fending off two surprised doctors, not to be seen again for almost a year.

Light and Wily were doomed now, as their creation (valued at around 3 billion) disappeared. After a long fight and some contemplation, the two set to work on a new bot with a cheaper core, and no personality. This bot could think and make decisions, yes, but its mental capacity did not stray past what a human could command it to do. This bot was known as Joe.

The government loved him. The patent for these Joes was quickly sold, and production began within the week. Light and Wily’s pockets were full thanks to their deal. So if you ever wondered where on Earth they ever got money for all this inventing stuff? Look around. I guarantee you’ll see at least one Joe standing guard. This city is full of ‘em. Pretend each one is a stack of a million dollars in the pocket of both Wily and Light. Of course, the two doctors went their separate ways after the money was made, and a deep-seated hatred consumed both of them, which would create one of the most dangerous rivalries in the history of man, and eventually, robot.

Thanks to Light’s way with words, the government was convinced that they had decommissioned Protoman for now, to be used for future experiments. The lies are beginning to build up, as you can see. Nothing bad ever occurs when that happens. Nope. Never.

Tangent over! Back to the good stuff.

\---

Light had a total of 14 robots in his possession when Wily was released from jail. Wily seemed to have forgiven Light, and he sought to make amends in the form of a partnership. Light accepted, and they made a public pact to create more robots that could aid humanity. The two decided that the first robot should be one who could traverse the harshest environments, fit into the smallest spaces, could move around without disrupting anyone, and observe and record information. Neither of them called it a spy robot, even though that’s totally what it was. Instead, it was called a ‘surveying robot’. Nice cover, not bad.

The bot was a combination of Wily’s design (theming, of course, was very important to Wily) and Light’s plan (Light focused more on the technical side of robotics). With a solar-kinetic core, magnesium-based alloy armor, synthetic skin created entirely from plant-based materials, vision capable of perceiving infrared, visible, and ultraviolet light waves (with hearing and smelling capacity at a similar caliber), white-diamond-plated teeth and claws, and an IC chip with almost 100x more storing power than previous robots, DWN-022 was and is one of the most advanced robots to ever be built by man. What a dreamboat. I’m not just saying that because DWN-022 is me, I swear. Both Light and Wily are on record saying it (in confidential files that I wasn’t supposed to know about, but it still counts).

What can I say, I'm a spy robot. I know things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How am I doing so far? Please let me know!


	3. In the name of the Law(s)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snake visits Wily for a very important meeting.

My role as a spy- sorry, SURVEYOR robot has its ups and downs. But rather than drone on about it here, I'll play you a memory.

\---

{Snakeman, do you copy?}

Snake sighed. “Yes sir”, he responded, only slightly sarcastically. 

{Good, good. Meet me in Lab 2 in twenty minutes. Don’t miss it.} 

With a familiar click, the transponder in his helmet went silent.

He left his current task of examining an abandoned mine for risk of collapse (he couldn’t remember if this was part of his surveying job, or some BS task Wily or Light had given him to stop him from snooping around the labs) and teleported to the front doors of Lab 2.

‘Lab 2’ is really just the remains of Wily’s lab from the big battle with Rock. Some code name, huh? He had managed to rebuild it enough for reuse by the time Snake was created, somehow. Snake knew what this place was, but he chose not to mention it (it could be used as blackmail sooner or later). He pointed the designation number engraved on his armor at the security camera, and the door slid open.

What Snake wouldn’t give to go back in time to two weeks ago, when he didn’t exist. In the time since he has been activated, aside from his actual job, he has been sent on 7 ‘important missions’ by Light, and 9 ‘secret assignments’ by Wily. Neither doctor wants the other to know about his missions, so he has to keep his trap shut. In theory, this whole spy thing sounds like fun, but he has only gotten 6 hours of ‘sleep’ since his activation. Robots need rest too!

“Ah, Snake. Right on time!” Wily’s raspy voice was coming from somewhere in the backroom, but after a bit of shuffling he appeared in the doorway. 

“Come in, we have two very important things to do today”, he said. “The first starts with a question. How would you like to be free of Asimov’s Laws?”

Snake had been around for awhile.* He has seen some things. He thought he was prepared for anything. But nothing could’ve prepared him for the question that was just asked.   
*[Side note- Time passes differently for robots. Think of it like a more advanced version of 'dog years'. Some robots don’t acknowledge it at all. Some base their entire lives around it. Snake doesn't care much for the concept of time, unless its beneficial to him. In this case, it is. Half of a human week is equal to 1 Snake year].

Snake gave a startled laugh. “That’s- that’s very funny. I didn’t know you were a comedian. What’s the actual question?”

“That is the actual question” Wily said, no hint of deception in his voice.

Snake just stared at him, eyes wide and jaw slack.

“Is that a yes?” Wily asked.

“You’re serious? You would remove the laws? That means I wouldn’t have to obey you or Light anymore!” Snake exclaimed.

“Well, there would be terms that would have to be agreed upon”, Wily said.

“There it is”, Snake said. “Alright. What’s the damage?”

“Once I remove the laws, you will continue to do exactly as I say. However, I will legally recognize you as a human person. That means any and all work you complete for me will result in some form of monetary compensation.”

“You’re gonna pay me?” Snake asked. “What am I supposed to do with human currency?”

“Go buy some E-tanks, see a movie, I don’t know! I think you’ll figure something out. Stop getting me off topic! I will expect you to continue as you were. I need you to continue to follow orders made by me. And Light. Understood?”

“Yeah yeah, the usual. Wait- and Light? I’m still supposed to listen to him too? How does that help you?” Snake asked.

“Ugh! Stupid Snake! Listen closely, I’m not going to explain anything else. Light cannot know that I removed the Laws. If you suddenly refused to listen to him, he would know what I’ve done. Of course, I need you to disregard any request Lights makes for you to spy on me. Make something up. Got it?”

“This sounds… complicated. I get my freedom, but I still have to do the same amount of work as before? I’m at a disadvantage. If I take this offer, I want two more things.”

“Two more things? You are already going to be paid!” Wily growled.

“Yeah, I’ll be paid money I won’t even be able to use! So, I want you to promise that whenever I want an upgrade to my systems or armor, you’ll do it.”

“Deal! What else?” Wily said impatiently.

“If I have a suggestion or a complaint, you’ll take it seriously and do something about it.”

“That’s a vague request. No.” Wily said.

“Hmm. Interesting. If you won’t agree to my terms, I guess I’ll go ask Light if he can remove the Laws so I can tell him all of the suspicious things you’ve been up to out at the ruins of your old castle” Snake said with a smirk.

Wily looked shocked. “You wouldn’t. I brought you into this world and I can take you out just as easily!”

“Oh please, old man, I could beat you with my eyes closed and both my arms tied behind my back. Besides, I’m too valuable to you and Light to decommission me over something dumb like this.”

“Damn you, Snake! Fine. I’ll agree to your ridiculous terms.” Wily shouted indignantly.

“Aw, I knew you’d come around!” Snake said cheerfully, fully aware of how easy that was. Once you get him angry, anything is possible.

They shook hands, and Snake sat on one of the steel operating tables to be freed of the Laws.


	4. Should've seen that coming.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snake gets caught?

“Snake”, Wily began, in a tone that Snake couldn’t begin to discern, “tell me why there are no laws here to be removed?”

Oops. You see, last week Snake had made a deal with Light that was almost identical to the one he made with Wily today. Luckily, Snake had a story prepared for this exact situation.

“What? What do you mean?” Snake said, sounding convincingly surprised.

“You are already free of the Laws, you imbecile!” Wily yelled. “When did Light do this for you? And why?”

“I don’t know! I don’t remember him doing anything like this! Maybe when I was resting?” Snake said.

“Has he asked you to spy on me?” Wily asked, suddenly fearful.

“What? No! I mean, he has asked me to keep an eye on you, but that’s it!” Snake answered.

“What have you told him? Does he know where I am right now?” Wily questioned further.

“I’ve said nothing that gives you away. When he asked me to keep an eye on you, I told him I have been, and that you seem very healthy, but you started a small cough on Wednesday”, Snake said. "Light didn't ask any more questions after that. He just smiled, pat me on the head, and said, 'Good job, pal'. So he thinks I'm an idiot, which actually works to your advantage."

Wily stared him down for a few seconds, but Snake stood his ground. Finally, Wily sighed, shaking his head. “I might be making a mistake. But I am going to believe you. Don’t disappoint me, or the terms we’ve agreed upon are void. Got it?”

“Got it boss”, Snake said, thrilled that he was able to pull this off, and also completely boggled by the fact that humans could be so intelligent, yet so gullible.

Wily eyed him for a few more seconds, before turning heel and walking back to the door he came from when Snake first arrived. “Now, I’m going to show you something, and along with this something comes a job. Do you accept?”

“Well, I don’t know, now that I have a choice...” Snake started to say, jokingly.

Wily glared at him, and he shut up. Too soon.

“I’m kidding. Yes, I’ll do it”, Snake said.

Snake walked to stand near the door next to Wily. In a lowered voice, Wily said, “what I’m about to show you is going to change the world. I expect you to be on my side when the time comes.”

Before Snake had time to comprehend that loaded statement, Wily opened the door. Inside stood a tall, blood-red robot with sawblades adorning his armor, the most prominent being the one on his forehead. It cast a shadow over his eyes, which likely matched a face that glowered from behind the rest of his mask.

Beyond the new robot were the chassis of four other robots, still in the design phase. Snake was impressed. How had Wily done so much in so little time?

“This”, Wily began, gesturing to the red bot, “is Metalman. Metalman, this is Snakeman. He will be your new mentor.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first time writing anything like this, really. What better time to start than when the world's in quarantine, right?
> 
> Let me know what you think of the story so far, I'm open to opinions!


End file.
